Hank: An insane man
by PatRox
Summary: He had his reasons. That doesn't make them good reasons. T for language


**1**

To be perfectly fair, the other guy started it. All I wanted to do was ask the guy for change for a 10. He punched me in the face for no fucking reason. It made sense to knock the fucker out right?

Apparently the crowd thought otherwise. Then they wanna try and start shit with me. After knocking out the sixth guy another one came and ripped off someone's head.

'Why is no one going after that guy?' I thought at the time. He thought he could take me out by playing bowling with someone's head.

"Get the fuck outta here bitch!" I said as I uppercut the dead body into him. He went bat-shit crazy and tried tackling me into the ground but I grabbed him by the face and punched him until he was dead.

Some guy grabbed me by the back as another one ran up on me. To be perfectly honest I was getting really annoyed with this. Using my double jointed limbs I grabbed the guy from behind me and threw him into the bastard who was punching me.

'I'm done with this shit.' thought as I took out a grenade. It's Nevada, a dangerous place for the hippies and peace lovers who want to protest, a cutthroat state indeed. Their bodies flew scattered all over the place.

Jebus Christ shows up to "Beat some sense into me for murdering people like this", to me it sounded like some bullshit excuse to start a fight. At first it looked like he was throwing lightning to instantly kill me so I closed my eyes from my impending doom. A second later I opened my eyes and heard a goddamn groaning behind me.

He brought the damn boombox man back to life. He wasn't even dead in the first place just unconscious. This time around he put up a decent fight, throwing punches that almost hit me. I managed to punch his head off and brought out an Uzi and shot the standing body.

Do not look at me like that, crime is very common around here, not to mention I have a license to carry guns.

I then decided to damn myself to hell by shooting at Jebus. He died for our sins, we ealise this, but he is going to cause chaos bringing the undead into this.

He had the protection of Christianity or whatever religion he comes from. I'm an atheist so it don't pay attention to the crazies trying to preach about sinning and be kind to your neighbor bullshit.

He shot more lightning this time heading towards me. throwing my nerves into shock. I'm a doctor so it is common to diagnose situations like these.

Again he shot lightning heading towards a not dead body. It stood and came in my direction. I punched it in the face from the ground and ripped off its head.

'I'm now a hypocrite.' I thought as I threw the head towards Jebus. He however jumped high and far from his place and continued his assualt punching me in the face knocking me into the ground.

I remember when someone used to pick me up and throw me into the air as a kid. They never dropped me, not once aas the air rushed against my face.

I couldn't remember who it was due to being repeatedly slammed into the ground, I had a concussion maybe? I got back up trying to punch the guy in the face in anger. H e dodged them all and teleported behind me to uppercut me.

'He's fucking mocking me.'

He used some kinda telekinesis? Psychokinesis? Jedi force type shit to move the dead bodies out of the way for a fucking cannon.

One time I had a dream of shooting people out of a cannon into a marshmellow. That same cannon is here and I jumped over a cannonball. I ducked under the next. I threw my self back under from his line of fire and grabbed my Uzi and shot him.

I had no regrets, the bastard deserved it for warping reality to bring living people back to life.

More people came, followers of some church to kill the murderer of Jebus. So I shot them too brining out my mini-shot gun to make up for my empty Uzi. Then that rand out of ullets. fairly quickly too. Must've forgotten to reload it.

I threw one of my knives and brought out two pistols to shoot the remaining people. On both sides people were after me. Some guy managed to get to the cannon and fire but he missed, giving me time to kill him and shoot a nit more at his dead body.

A worthy waste of bullets.

One of my pistols ran out of bullets so I threw it at the last person after my life effectively killing him.

I looked a the carnage I left behind and felt nothing except the excitement of looting dead bodies. I jumped off the cannon to go find the missing boombox. It wasn't hard to find, and I brought it back by my favorite tree. I noticed a guy dancing in the distance so I shot and killed him.

It was my only regretful kill as I did a victory ddance at all the money these people left behind.

And so on that day I had slain twenty-eight men. I admit I had somewhat a good time doing it except that last kill. He was innocent after all.

...

...

...

Actually thirty if you count the zombies.


End file.
